


The Displeasure Of Hobbits And The Penitence Of Kings

by BakerStTardis (Sokashi)



Series: Hobbit Advent [2]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-08
Updated: 2013-12-08
Packaged: 2018-01-03 23:53:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1074535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sokashi/pseuds/BakerStTardis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Day Two Hobbit Advent. Prompt was gingerbread.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Displeasure Of Hobbits And The Penitence Of Kings

"WHAT is going on here?" Thorin didn't bellow. He quit bellowing because kings didn't bellow over little things. He'd been informed so very thoroughly at the end of a wagging finger attached to a hobbit he'd learned (finally) to always listen to.

The figures froze and stared up at him. Two looked mildly guilty and the third just arched a flour streaked brow at him before dusting his hands. "WE are making gingerbread." Bilbo informed him primly and this time it was Thorin who froze, wracking his brain a little frantically. Had he forgotten plans with Bilbo? No, he'd had the meeting with the men of Dale scheduled for weeks. Was there something else he'd done wrong? He glared at the hobbit as his brain supplied a complete lack of answers. So he did what he usually did, shifting his glare to his nephews. THEY had certainly done something wrong. The state of the kitchen told that if nothing else did.

Fili straightened, wearing the coating of flour as proudly as a crown while Kili looked from his brother to Bilbo and back before straightening as well. Then he grinned, flour creasing his face like a statue, looking more a child than a grown dwarf. "We're helping." He said proudly.

"So I can see." Thorin said striding carefully into the room. Beyond the layer of flour nothing looked destroyed and Bilbo wasn't giving either of them an earful so it might've actually been the truth.

"Yes, they have." Bilbo said and gave the two boys a smile, looking a little proud. "They'd make decent bakers, if need be."

Thorin's brow lowered. "They're princes and warriors. Blacksmiths and jewelers first."

Bilbo snorted, sounding disgusted as he stepped off his little stool to bustle around the table to the two boys. "Yes, yes. How could I forget?" He half mocked and, yes, Thorin had definitely done something wrong to earn that eye roll. "Luckily those skills have transferred well into kneading dough and delicately decorating cookies."

Deciding that starting an argument wouldn't help him, Thorin took a mental step back and glanced around for a distraction. The kitchen was bare of its normal roasting meats and simmering stews. Every countertop and surface was covered in bags of flour or sugar, trays of cookies or stacks of bowls. While flour seemed to liberally cover all three of them, only the floor showed the same amount of damage although a quick circuit of the room left Thorin near a stack of blackened and mangled things. It had been food once. He prodded one and watched with dismay when it fell into black dust.

"Stop it." bilbo chided, appearing beside him. "Those were early efforts."

Thorin grunted. "I thought you said they were doing decently? Dwarves aren't picky eaters but none of us would eat this." Bilbo snorted but turned away before Thorin could decide which part of his words had inspired the reaction. Thorin scowled after him, mostly because he felt he should, and tried not to let it show how endearing it was to watch Fili and Kili concentrate so thoroughly on something non-mischievous with Bilbo gently directing them. At his words,though, Fili and Bilbo flashed him looks of annoyance while Kili glanced up and seemed to deflate a little.

"Don't listen to him." Bilbo said nudging Kili's hands back into movement. "You're doing well. Everyone is going to love them." That little bit of encouragement made Kili beam and Thorin winced inwardly. How was Bilbo so good at that? Every time Thorin opened his mouth things just went...wrong. He glared at the floor and its puddles of flour, trying to hide his sudden sadness. He felt Bilbo's eyes on him and flailed for words before the hobbit could do or say something else. "Why is there flour everywhere?"

"The bags from that new dealer in Dale split when we tried to move them." Fili said calmly and jerked his chin to one side, eyes never leaving whatever he was doing with a knife. "We'll need to talk to him about it before we buy from him again. It could be an honest mistake." Thorin followed the directions and went to where one of the empty bags lay and saw what his nephew meant. Poorly constructed or just a fault, the material had fallen apart beneath the weight. Behind him Kili laughed, the sound joyful.

"You should've seen it uncle! One minute we're carrying them the next- whoosh!" His dark haired nephew made a dramatic hand gesture that Bilbo ducked even as it flung whatever Kili was working on everywhere. Everyone ignored the hobbit's squeaks of alarm as the two young dwarfs laughed. "It was better than a snowstorm!" Kili declared.

"And once it was already everywhere, there was no reason not to enjoy it." Fili added looking distinctly mischievous now as he glanced up at Thorin. "You should've seen Bilbo's face!"

"Yes." Bilbo murmured dryly. "I'm sure it was very amusing." There was humor in his eyes, despite the annoyance on his face.

Both boys laughed, unfazed, while Thorin decided that in his current status of being on Bilbo's less pleased side, he would refrain from commenting. "So why are you making gingerbread?" Thorin asked, changing the subject to a hopefully safer one. Fili and Kili looked at him in approval (and how bad was it if even those two knew what he should say when he didn't?)

The hobbit just thumped the dough he was mixing and didnt even look up at Thorin as he spoke. "Back in the Shire, " Bilbo said gently, fondly, his voice taking on those even tones he used when storytelling. "We always make gingerbread this time of year. It's a special treat. Not just because its delicious." He said and shared a fond look with Kili who giggled a little. Thorin could only imagine how much his nephew had already eaten. On the other hand, it was likely to be less than what Bilbo had. "It's a special cookie full of spices." He shook a handful of something spicy scented into a bowl and mixed it with the calmness and ease that Thorin found on a battlefield. "Cinnamon for home, nutmeg for luck. Ginger to sooth the holiday stomach and cloves for that bite of the unexpected." He sounded like he enjoyed the last bit a little too much and Thorin knew it was this part of Bilbo that, oddly enough, had drove him out of his home to help them."And molasses to bind you to those you love most." Bilbo said lightly and it made Thorin's heart clench because he sounded... Wistful. Then he glanced up at Thorin from beneath his eyelashes and Thorin stilled because his nephews were royal mischief makers, but he'd learned that they had nothing on a hobbit when he put his curly little head to it. "We mix it and roll it out then shape it before we bake it."

"Shape it?" Thorin found himself echoing with a sense of inevitability. 

Bilbo nodded a bit primly, too sweet to be trustworthy. "Yes. Shape it. Then decorate it into the ones you love. It's a high compliment. Each family chooses one family member each year. It's a way to show appreciation and love and well wishes." The sweet was turning into something sharp and wicked when Bilbo looked up at him. "Do you want to know who we chose?"

Thorin scowled and crossed his arms, setting his jaw and looking away. "No." He said pointedly.

Bilbo's brows rose but Thorin refused to look at him. Didn't want to see the smug look on his little hobbit face. "No?" He...purred. Teased.

Thorin rolled one shoulder and made to leave the room. "No." He said with as much unconcern as he could fake.

"But we've worked so hard." Bilbo interrupted before he could escape. "Your nephews have made enough for everyone."

Thorin stopped at the chilling tone Bilbo gave the word. He refused to turn around though. "Everyone?" He echoed again feeling stupid. Why did he always feel so stupid around the hobbit? 

He could FEEL Bilbo's grin. "Everyone." The word was filled with smug pleasure and Thorin found himself staring at a matching little grin on Bilbo's face as the Hobbit gestured to trays and trays of cookies. Enough for the mountain. "We didn't want anyone to feel left out and Bombour and his staff are going to help finish decorating the rest but there should be one for everyone. Maybe enough to share with any visitors we might have." The grin widened. "Come see how hard your nephews have been working." It was a command, which rankled, and a challenge, which was harder to ignore. He took a step forward and watched Bilbo lift his chin in that way he had, the one that made Thorin WANT to fight with him, but Fili and Kili were looking at him with such young pleasure in their eyes. Kili's hopeful and excited while Fili looked hopeful and cautious, like he wasn't certain Thorin wouldn't hurt his brother or Bilbo. So Thorin gritted his teeth and DIDN'T look at Bilbo as he stepped forward to see what they had made.

Thorin knew what he'd see, of course. Himself, rendered into cookies of all things. His ancestors had been made into statues of stone but this... This was worse than he expected. They were no lopsided cookies topped clumsily in his colors or pudgy dwarf shapes done in Durin blue. No, these were perfect little cookie dwarves with dark icing as his hair blowing in the wind. Fluffy dollops made his coat snapping behind him, a long streak of silvered icing was his sword raised for combat and the face was his in a furious scowl with some kind of chips for the eyes. They were unmistakably him, cut delicately by Fili and decorated expertly by Kili and the longer he stared the grimmer they looked and the harder the mischievous look in Bilbo's eyes got. Thorin straightened and cleared his throat, NOT looking at Bilbo as he spoke. "These are amazing." He said. Truthfully. It had taken work and skill and patience to make these and his nephews' intentions had been good. It's the hobbit's intentions he didn't trust. Fili let out the breath he'd been holding at the words and Kili laughed before he started talking excitedly about how he'd made each part.

"Fili is better at the shapes but I'm the one who figured out the right colors and added the trim to your coat..."They let the young dwarf go on for a few minutes with Thorin grunting in appropriate places and Fili looking a little too approving at them both before Bilbo sidled up close with a new bowl of dough.

"I'm sure your uncle is eager to show off your work." He interrupted gently making Thorin's brain fluttered in panic. Him show them off? Having the things made was going to be embarrassing enough but now Bilbo was going to make HIM be the one to tell others about them first? Thorin intended to protest, was certain he opened his mouth to. Instead he found a cookie being settled gently into his palm by a hobbit with mischievous eyes and Bilbo was closing his fingers gently over it as he spoke. "I'm sure Thorin can show Balin and Dwalin at his next meeting. And they'll both be eager to tell you what they think at dinner tonight." Thorin stared at his friend, There was no way out. If Balin and Dwalin said nothing it would hurt Fili and Kili's feelings and if he wanted to spare their feelings Thorin would have to show his friends the cookie himself... Neither were ever going to let him live it down.

Thorin sighed, resigned to the ribbing to come and making a mental note later to find out just what he'd done to their hobbit to end up as the butt of such an elaborate prank. "Yes." He said and held Bilbo's eyes. "I'll tell you their reaction myself later tonight Bilbo. Just you and me." He challenged darkly. Annoyingly unintimidated, Bilbo's brows rose again as he fussed Thorin out of the kitchen.

"You'll have to catch me first, oh cookie king." The hobbit mocked before shutting the kitchen door firmly in his face.


End file.
